


Princess Henry AU

by Doceo_Percepto



Series: Ideas from the Kink Machine [2]
Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Bendy breaks the fourth wall, Bendy is his animal side kick, Crack, Gen, Henry wakes up a princess except he's still a 40 year old man, Henry's unamused and kind of swears a lot, Joey Drew is his drunk fairy godmother, oh Henry's got some talking birds that do shit for him, that's pretty much the story in a nutshell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doceo_Percepto/pseuds/Doceo_Percepto
Summary: Henry wakes up one morning to find himself transported to another world.





	Princess Henry AU

Something was very, very wrong. 

Henry Stein knew this as soon as he woke up. 

See, normally he woke up in his dingy twin-sized bed in his tiny apartment in New York. This morning, he woke up in _bright pink_ four poster bed, draped with matching veiled curtains. The surrounding room was absolutely _not_ his bedroom: this place was spacious, and every inch decorated with unnaturally perky flowers, pink _everything,_ stuffed teddy bears, and all kinds of useless paraphernalia that was more fitting of a girl’s room than that of a forty-year old animator.

“The hell?” Henry grumbled. He kicked his hairy legs free from the sheets, and his feet came down on a plush pink carpet. He rubbed his tousled hair, looking around in bewilderment. The far wall was almost completely taken up by a white-paned window, which was thrown open to let in the absolutely perfect (not too cool, not too hot) Spring breeze. Birds were singing; a rack of flowers bloomed just outside the window.

“ _The hell_?” Henry uttered again, blinking sand from his eyes. Was this a dream?

He took a chunk of skin from his forearm between two fingers and pinched hard - an old, childish trick, but this was so unreal that he was hoping it might wake him. So such luck. The room didn’t vanish.  Did that mean this was real? If so, w ho the hell’s room was he in? How had he gotten here?

Henry stood up only to look down at himself and find he was wearing a long silky sky-blue sleeping gown.

Nope. This - this had to be a dream. There was no damn way it wasn’t. 

A sharp rapping on the door had Henry nearly jumping out of his skin.

“Princess Henry?” a very British voice called in. “Princess Henry, are you awake?”

_“Who the hell_ -” Did he say _Princess_ Henry?

“What?” Henry said.

“Mi’lady, you must get dressed for the ball!”

“For - for _what_?” Henry stormed over the door and rattled the handle, but it was locked. “Hey, let me out!”

“I will send your birds in, mi’lady.”

“My birds-?” The fuck was going on- Retreated footsteps heralded the man’s departure. “Hey! Hey come back here!” Henry yelled. “Tell me what the hell is going on!” But he was gone.

“Princess Henry!” another voice chirruped, lilting and happy, and then another, “Princess Henry, we’re here to help you ready for the ball!”  

Henry turned around just in time to see a line of beautiful blue jays fly into the room tweeting in a perfect four-part harmony. They circled once around his head, and then landed on the bed in a neat line. 

“Hello, Princess Henry,” one bird said.

Henry stared. “Did you just talk to me?” 

“Of course, silly,” another said. “Now what color dress would you like for today?”

“You’re birds,” Henry stated.

The birds chittered and giggled. “Of course! Why do you look so surprised, Henry?”

“Look, uh-” Henry looked around, tugging at his blue nightgown uneasily. “This is a great dream and all, but I’d really like to wake up now.”

“What do you mean, dream?” one bird chirped. 

“She must have had some strange dreams last night,” another bird said. 

“Poor princess!” one bird fluttered onto his shoulder, “share your dream with us, Henry! We’ll comfort you and then we will sew a brand new dress for you!”

“No - no NO-” Henry flapped his hands wildly until the bird left his shoulder. “Okay, stop - stop - I just want to go back home, okay?  Back to New York, back to the studio - Back to where freakin’ BIRDS aren’t TALKING TO ME LIKE PEOPLE.”

“Whatever do you mean?” a bird fluffed its wings, looking distressed. “Princess Henry, this is where you belong!”

“Where exactly is this?” Henry bit out.

“Why, the Castle of Crystals, Henry!” the birds giggled. “Where you’ve lived your whole life!”

“You have such a wonderful sense of humor,” one bird chortled.

“No. Uh, no. I’m not a fucking princess, for starters, I’m an animator, and I really _really_ would like to wake up.”

“What color dress would you like for the ball?” the birds sang in unison. “It’s a big occasion, Princess Henry!”

“Who the hell has dances in the middle of the morning-”

“You must meet Prince Charming!”

“You must fall in love!”

“NO! No falling in love. No Prince Charming. No dresses-” 

“You can’t go to the ball unclothed! That would be unseemly of a princess!”

“Well I’m not a goddamn princess -” Henry gritted his teeth. “I just want to get back to drawing the Bendy cartoons, okay? Not dreaming this fairy tale bullshit-”

“Bendy?” one of the birds looked at another nervously; they tweeted amongst each other for a moment. Then, “you don’t need Bendy to help make your dress, Henry. We’re more than happy to do it!”

Wait. Henry narrowed his eyes. “So you know who Bendy is?”

The birds shifted nervously on his pink bedspread. “Of course,  Princess Henry. He’s been your companion for years now…”

“He’s - he’s here?” Henry asked. “In this world?”

They exchanged looks again. “Yes, princess… Don’t you remember? You need only whistle and he will come. But we can make this dress for you! You don’t need him!”

“I don’t _want_ a dress-” Henry shook his head. This was complete madness. But the idea of there being some part of this world he might be familiar with was reassuring. He put his pinkies in his mouth and whistled, hard. 

The birds billowed up in a flurry of alarm at the sound, “Princess!” they exclaimed.

“That’s an unseemly whistle!”

“So loud!”

“If I hear _unseemly_ one more goddamn time-” Henry growled.

That was when a black blur shot through the window and crashed into his room. Some kind of black liquid splattered everywhere, staining the bedspread and the anxiously tweeting birds. Just when Henry thought this couldn’t get any weirder, the creature that crawled up onto two legs was none other than Bendy, the cartoon character that Henry had designed himself. Except he was now, clearly, alive and sentient. 

Bendy shook his head, spraying what Henry now understood to be ink, and then he grinned at Henry.

“Hiya, Henry! Watch’a need?”

Henry squinted. “God, where am I?”

Bendy looked around. “Somewhere with way too much pink, that’s for sure - oh _hey!”_ His expression soured. “Henry, ya called the birds before me? C’mon, I thought we had something special!”

The birds chittered and ruffled their feathers, huddling close together (now perched on Henry’s very pink desklight, away from Bendy’s reach) as if for safety. 

“I don’t know what the hell is going on-”

_Rap rap rap_ someone knocked on the door. The same voice, “Princess Henry! Two minutes!”

“Oh no!” the birds cried. “Now we don’t have enough time to make you a whole new dress! How awful! What shall we do now!?"

“Good riddance,” Bendy grumped. “Every time they make ya a new dress, they _gotta_ do a musical number. Hey, bird-brains, if ya spent less time singin’ and more time sewin’, maybe you could actually get the thing done on time, huh?”

The birds tweeted their insult. Then one concluded, “we must call your fairy godmother, Henry! She will help us!”

“Aw, no, not _that_ guy,” Bendy muttered.

“I have a fairy godmother?”

“Of course, Henry!”

“We will call her!”

The birds all put their heads close together and began another birdsong, while Bendy covered the sides of his head and groaned loudly. “I hate that guy!” Bendy yelled.

No matter Bendy’s feelings about it, the song concluded, and lavender purple sparkles began to swirl in the middle of the room, faster, faster faster-

“God, the fuck-” Henry stumbled backwards, nearly falling over from tripping on his nightgown.

The sparkles grew brighter and brighter and swirled faster until - _pop!_ \- a grown-ass man wearing a sparkly lavender dress abruptly materialized, hovering about a foot off the ground, perhaps with the assistance of the tiny translucent lavender wings that sprouted from his back. This man was clutching a thin rod with a star at the end, which probably passed as a wand. It took Henry a second to realize he _recognized_ this person.

“Joey,” he gasped, half in disbelief. 

Joey grinned wide and loose, his eyes struggling to focus on Henry. It was clear he was very, very drunk. “Henry!” he slurred. “‘S, ‘s great tuh uh-see ya-”

“Great,” Bendy said sarcastically. “Your fairy godmother. Just who we needed.”

“Joey, God, am I glad to see you-” finally some familiar _human_ face in this nightmare place. “You gotta get me out of here-”

Joey laughed heartily, then burped. “Sure, Henry, getchyoo outta here-”

“The princess needs a dress for today,” the birds chirped. “Quick, fairy godmother! We only have a moment!”

“Oh shiit,” Joey slurred, blinking. “Hold on, urgh-” He clutched his stomach, looked for two seconds like he was going to vomit on the floor, and then, recovering, smiled just as drunkenly. “Got you covered Henry-” He waved his wand about loosely, uttered, “ugh, uh - bippity um, boppity, - hrk - boo-” and then a fountain of sparkles flowed from the wand and engulfed Henry.

“Wait, wait-” Henry again tried to retreat backwards but his back hit a dresser and it was too late: the sparkles soaked into the fabric of his nightgown; before his eyes, it began to _change._

“I bet he picked a horrible color for the dress,” Bendy said under his breath. 

“The fairy godmother always knows what’s best!” the birds sang. 

Fabric clenched tight against Henry’s chest and ribs, as if fitting itself to a body type that Henry very much did not have. Meanwhile, it billowed out from his behind in piles and piles of puffy flowing fabric, with so much intensity that Henry was nearly launched right off the dresser. 

“The _hell-”_ Henry jerked his head to a mirror in time to see the transformation complete. It was _very_ _much_ a woman’s dress, with the middle section squeezing his ribs nearly to oblivion, and two huge cups bursting from his chest, entirely ignoring the fact Henry had nothing to fill them. It ballooned out at his hips and butt into a veritable mushroom shape. The train behind it had to be at least a foot long. It had no sleeves, so Henry’s hairy arms sprouted from the too-tight fabric on either side like awkward fleshy logs. The entire dress was the most horrific shade of puke green that a person could imagine. Somewhere under all the layers, Henry’s feet were squeezed in shoes at least two sizes too small, and based on how his calves ached, they were heels. 

Joey giggled and burped.

“I ain’t never seen somethin’ so disgustin’,” Bendy couldn’t stop staring.

“It’s beautiful!” the birds sang.

“Oh thank you, fairy godmother!”

“You’re amazing!”

Joey waved, dropped his wand accidentally, and then vanished in a puff of sparkles and confetti. The confetti littered the floor. Henry was left with absolutely no answers.

"You could'a looked great in a dress," Bendy remarked. "'Xcept the fact Joey gave ya the ugliest, worst fittin' one. Geez, what a disappointment."

Henry shot Bendy a look. "You're not helping."

"Could'a gone with a scantier dress too..." Bendy added thoughtfully.

Before Henry could decide to be upset about that, the bedroom door opened. A tall man with a strict mustache and combed back hair appeared, dressed in the garments of a butler. “Princess Henry, this way.” 

“No.” Henry said. 

The butler blinked. “Princess-”

“I’m not a goddamn princess!” Henry started trying to tear at his dress, but the fabric was impossible to rip or remove. No matter what he did, it clung determinedly to his body in exactly the same shape that it had appeared. Was this _cursed_? 

“The ball,” the butler stressed. “Come, princess, hurry!” 

“Should prolly just play along,” Bendy told him. “Ain’t no point in tryin’ to make the world work your way when it don’t want to.”

There was some logic in this, Henry was realizing, as he successfully managed to rip part of his dress only to have it magically reform instantly.

“I don’t want to go to a ball,” Henry hissed at the demon, and tried hard not to think about how little sense it made to be talking to his own cartoon character. It wasn’t like that was any weirder than anything else that was going on. At least Bendy seemed to have some kind of outside knowledge about this world. He wasn’t as insane as everyone else, far as Henry could tell. 

“Princess?” the butler prompted. “You absolutely must come with me.”

“What happens if I refuse?” Henry directed quietly at Bendy.

“Oh, probably bad things,” Bendy said light-heartedly. 

Henry was tempted, but he also didn’t know what to do. Just run away? Wasn’t a bad idea, but with the shoes he physically couldn’t remove from his feet, it wasn’t like he’d get far. Tugging at his outfit in frustration, Henry surrendered and followed the butler down the hall. They were in nothing short of a castle or a mansion, Henry was realizing, as the halls were enormous and arched. One side was composed only of huge windows, granting a view of an immaculately kept garden complete with dozens of types of flowers and several statues and fountains. The other side of the hall was decorated with a ridiculous number of gigantic portraits of rich white men.  

“Why is there even a ball in the fucking morning?” Henry snapped at Bendy.

“‘Cause there wasn’t enough plot to fill the entire day,” Bendy answered. “Don’t worry, Henry-o, by the time we get t’the ballroom, it’ll be night. Like magic.”

“How do you know all this?” Henry hissed. “How do I get out of here? Is this a dream?”

“Gee, Henry, I can’t give away all the dirty secrets. I’m just the comic relief or somethin’. Your faithful animal companion.”

“You’re a demon, not an animal-”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules here. Some things have gotta be bent to make it work, yanno?" 

The butler halted before an elaborate set of golden double doors. “Just inside here, Princess Henry.” His strict face softened into a small smile. “You look absolutely stunning. Prince Charming will be delighted.”

“Is there actually a person named Prince Charming?” Henry inquired while trying not to think about the underwear riding up his asscrack. 

The butler cast Henry a strange look. “Why, he’s your most promising romantic prospect! The prince of _two_ provinces, a royal on both sides! And such a handsome and kind gentleman.”

“Yeah,” Bendy said dully, looking down and scuffing the carpet. “Full’a himself, too.”

“Prince Charming is the stupidest name-”

“Now, now, that’s not polite,” the butler said.

“Whatever,” Bendy interjected. “Let’s get this show on the road.” 

With a nod and a bow, the butler swung the double doors open and ushered them in. Henry, in his constricting dress and with Bendy trotting at his heels, entered the most stupidly ostentatious ballroom that he had ever seen in his life. Not that Henry had actually ever been to many ballrooms - or any at all - but he imagined that out of all the ballrooms in existence this was the most unnecessarily lavish. 

The domed ceilings were decorated with chandeliers, each ivory white and probably more expensive than Henry’s lifetime salary. There was about a hundred candles in fancy golden holder. A band with polished brass instruments played a bouncy, quick jig. Bendy, it turned out, was correct about it becoming night, because the hint of the outdoors Henry could see through the windows was certainly late evening. And the ballroom was full, wall to wall, with guests in perfectly smooth suits and glittering, flowing dresses.  

Dream or no dream, Henry immediately felt humiliated. He was the only one here who looked like - well, like an overstuffed hairy doll crammed into a minuscule vomit-green dress.  He needed to leave. Pronto. But before he could even take a single step, a cheer rose up in the crowd as everyone noticed his presence. 

It didn't help that the butler announced his presence, bowing, “Princess Henry is here!"

Almost immediately, Henry was swarmed by a crowd of bright-eyed eager people, all fawning over him:

“Princess Henry, you look amazing!”

“Oh, doesn’t she always?”

“Makes a girl so jealous-”

“What a marvelous color for her dress-”

“I wish I had worn something like that-”

“She’s absolutely dainty-”

Henry was certain he was being made fun of. But only Bendy was laughing. Everyone else looked dead serious. There was no way this many people could be in on the joke and not a single person cracked a snide smile - everyone seemed genuinely impressed. God, was Henry going insane?

“I look fucking stupid-” Henry snapped, fed up of the comments. 

“Princess, that’s unseemly language-”

“And I’m gonna punch the next person that says unseemly,” Henry growled.

The others laughed and chittered, but in a “oh you!” sort of way that didn’t leave Henry feeling very validated. A small girl came up next to Henry and tugged his dress.

“What?” Henry said.

“When I grow up,” the girl said, “I wanna be just like you.”

All right. Nothing in this world made any goddamn sense at all. Henry was so very done with it. 

“I’m gonna try the running away option,” he decided.

“In those shoes?” Bendy flicked his tail disdainfully.

“Fine, the _walk away swiftly_ option,” Henry corrected through clenched teeth. 

“Princess, where are you going?” the people cried as Henry turned and walked right back through the doors. 

“Princess, we need you!”

No ballroom. No ball. No dress. He was not going to be any part of this.

Bendy followed him, cackling. “C’mon, princess, y’can’t go leavin’ the ballroom just like that! You’re s’pposed to meet Prince Charming!”

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Weeell, prolly ‘cause you’re the princess, Henry. All princesses have gotta find a husband!” On a darker note, Bendy muttered an addition, "for some reason in the stupid  _rules_ , the animal side-kick don't qualify-"

“Yeah, well, I don't want-“ Henry didn’t have a proper chance to finish his statement, because time and space it seemed were against him. One moment he was walking away from the ball, determined to leave this wretched place. The very next second, he was back in the ballroom, among other bodies spinning and dancing. 

“Princess!” Someone called, excitedly rushing up. 

Nope. Nope. Nope. Out of the ballroom Henry went, this time paying extra attention to his route.

“It ain’t gonna work,” Bendy said in a sing-song voice. 

Sure enough, not thirty steps out the door, Henry materialized back in the ballroom. Like really twisted magic wrought by some sadistic bastard controlling all his actions. 

Again, Henry tried to leave. Again, he was transported back into the ballroom. Again. Again. 

Bendy’s amusement only grew, until finally Henry rounded on him. 

“Okay, you seem to know what’s going on,” Henry rambled, “you realize I don’t belong here, unlike everyone else - so how do I stop this nightmare? How do I make it end?”

“Gee, I dunno. I'm just s'pposed to look cute!"

Henry rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Give me your best guess.”

“Hmmm…” Bendy stroked his nonexistent chin. “Well, you’re in some kinda princess movie, Henry! I bet if ya play your part, follow along… maybe you’ll find your way out. Complete the story an' return to your own.”

“Huh.” That sounded promising. The best shot Henry had in this madness. 

“What does playing my part mean?” Henry asked.

“Gotta be a princess, duh! And princesses gotta get with their Prince Charmings!”

“ _Get with_?” Henry phrased, terrified.

“Oh, I bet a kiss or somethin’ll do. Anythin' else and I might just rip his face off!" Bendy laughed, rubbing his hands together. "But heh, heh, a kiss should do. But you can’t rush it, Henry! Gotta dance with him, probably. Make it genuine!”

This all sounded extremely horrible. But a dance and a kiss - no matter how much it revolted Henry, who never like romantic stuff much to begin with - was a small price to pay for getting out of this nightmare realm. 

Resolved, Henry went on a hunt for Prince Charming. It took no time at all. The prince  was… literally exactly like you might imagine someone named Prince Charming. No personality whatsoever. His face was like a perfectly sculpted statue of beauty and complete emotionlessness. Not a single hair on his blonde head was out of place. Dust and dirt seemed to even avoid approaching him or tainting his flawless military-esque outfit, as if only perfection were allowed to touch him. 

“Madam,” he said in a voice like butter. “Would you like to dance?”

“No,” said Henry. “But I guess I have to.”

“Wonderful,” he replied. “You look absolutely gorgeous, princess.” Without a beat of hesitation, like some automaton, he placed one hand upon Henry’s hip, and grasped Henry’s hand with his other. “Let us dance.”

“I hate myself,” Henry said.

“I adore your sense of humor.”

“I hate you.”

“You’re ravishing.”

“I literally want to die.”

“What unique ideas you have!”

Somewhere near the side of the room, Henry could swear he heard Bendy laughing. His blood was boiling, but he forced himself to stay calm. Play his part. 

“Thank you,” Henry made himself say. “You uh, you have unique ideas too.”

The prince chuckled. “Oh, I could listen to you for hours!”

It occurred to Henry that it didn’t matter what he said. The prince’s responses were canned, arbitrary. Completely unrelated to anything Henry was saying. 

“My boxers are so far up my asscrack that they’re gonna come out the other end,” Henry tried.

“So intelligent for a princess!” The Prince crowed.

“I can’t believe I have to spend the evening with you.”

“It’s magical, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah. Just great.” Henry blew out of his lips and gave up. 

Luckily, Henry didn’t have to do much work in the dance itself. His movements were clumsy and faltering and he was constantly tripping over the Prince’s toes, but the Prince seemed to find everything that Henry did either amusing or endearing. It was honestly grating to be around, but Henry managed to endure. The hope of being freed from the hell that was his princess life kept him motivated. Just one evening, he thought. One evening and this whole stupid nonsensical fiasco would be over. 

Somehow he survived, until he and the Prince Charming were holding each other close late late in the night, rocking slowly to a love song played on plaintive violins. They were getting incrementally closer - but so, so slowly that Henry was about to rip his own hair follicles out in frustration. He needed to hurry this along. 

“I just love you so much,” Henry said flatly. “I feel a real connection.”

“I think your dress is beautiful, too,” the Prince said, dreamy eyed.

“Uh, yeah.” This was probably enough of a romantic connection to settle things. Henry pursed his lips and squashed them against the Prince’s in the stupidest kiss he’d ever had in his life (and that included some pretty dumb kisses). 

He immediately pulled away and waited, hopeful. Would he finally be free? 

A shower of sparkles appeared, heralding the presence of - sure enough, Joey Drew, yet again fluttering above the ground with his lavender wings. 

 “Ohoh!” Joey laughed, then twisted in the air and outright vomited. Wiping his mouth, he recited, “Pr- _prrup_ -cess Henry, y'kissed Prince Charming, thus s-suh-hrk-sealing your fate." He blinked dumbly for a second, then continued, "From here on out, you'll always be a princess, an, uhh, any chance of going back to your old world is gone!”

“Wait, what? No no no - Joey, that was supposed to reverse this nightmare! I’m supposed to go back to the normal world!”

Joey burped and squinted at Henry. “Nnnnah. Nah, says here-“ a scroll poofed into Joey’s hand, “the princess has got uh, all day to reverse the spell until -hrk- until sh-she kisses Prince Charming. Then uh, well, Henry, you're pretty much screwed. Hope you like being a princess.” He disappeared in another burst of sparkles. 

Henry’s jaw nearly unhinged as he released the loudest most furious “FUCK!” That he’d ever declared in his life. Then he turned on Bendy. “YOU told me-“

 “Whoopsies,” Bendy said. “Hey, Henry, I _was_ only guessin’ ya know. Guess I guessed wrong!”

Henry screeched as he dove at Bendy, but the mischievous demon laughed maniacally and bolted away, tail waving after him. “SORRY PRINCESS HENRY!”


End file.
